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21 February 2011 @ 10:35 pm
Teaching Maths in Britain  
С любезного разрешения radaalex перепечатываю пришедшее на волнах электронной почты

Teaching Maths in Britain
1. Teaching Maths In 1970
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100..
His cost of production is 4/5 of the price.
What is his profit?

2. Teaching Maths In 1980
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is 80% of the price.
What is his profit?

3. Teaching Maths In 1990
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is £80.
How much was his profit?


4. Teaching Maths In 2000
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is £80 and his profit is £20.
Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

5. Teaching Maths In 2005
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habit of animals or the preservation of our woodlands.
Your assignment: Discuss how the birds and squirrels might feel as the logger cut down their homes just for a measly profit of £20.

6. Teaching Maths In 2009
A logger is arrested for trying to cut down a tree in case it may be
offensive to Muslims or other religious groups not consulted in the application for the
felling licence. He is also fined a £100 as his chainsaw is in breach of Health and Safety legislation as it deemed too dangerous and could cut something.. He has used the chainsaw for over 20 years without incident however he does not have the correct certificate of competence and is therefore considered to be a recidivist and habitual criminal. His DNA is sampled and his details circulated throughout all government agencies. He protests and is taken to court and fined another £100 because he is such an easy target.

When he is released he returns to find Gypsies have cut down half his wood to build a camp on his land. He tries to throw them off but is arrested, prosecuted for harassing an ethnic minority, imprisoned and fined a further £100. While he is in jail again the Gypsies cut down the rest of his wood and sell it on the black market for £100 cash. They also have a departure BBQ of squirrel and pheasant and leave behind several tonnes of rubbish and asbestos sheeting.

The forester on release is warned that failure to clear the fly tipped rubbish immediately at his own cost is an offense. He complains and is arrested for environmental pollution, breach of the peace and invoiced £12,000 plus VAT for safe disposal costs by a regulated government contractor.

Your assignment: How many times is the logger going to have to be
arrested and fined before he realizes that he is never going to make £20
profit by hard work, give up, sign onto the dole and live off the state
for the rest of his life?

7. Teaching Maths In 2010
A logger doesn’t sell a lorry load of timber because he can’t get a
loan to buy a new lorry because his bank has spent all his and their money on a derivative of securitised debt related to sub-prime mortgages in Alabama and lost the lot, with only some government money left to pay a few million-pound bonuses to their senior directors and the traders who made the biggest losses.

The logger struggles to pay the £1,200 road tax on his old lorry.
However, as it was built in the 1970s it no longer meets the emissions
regulations and he is forced to scrap it.

Some Bulgarian loggers buy the lorry from the scrap merchant and put
it back on the road. They undercut everyone on price for haulage and send their cash back home, while claiming unemployment for themselves and their relatives. If questioned they speak no English and it is easier to deport them at the governments expense. Following their holiday back home they return to the UK with different names and fresh girls and start again. The logger protests, is accused of being a bigoted racist and as his name is on the side of his old lorry he is forced to pay £1,500 registration fees as a gang master.

The Government borrows more money to pay more to the bankers as
bonuses are not cheap. The parliamentarians feel they are missing out and claim the difference on expenses and allowances.
You do the maths.

8. Teaching Maths 2017
أ المسجل تبيع حموله شاحنة من الخشب من اجل 100 دولار. صاحب تلفة ;
 الانتاج 80 من
الثمن. ما هو الربح له؟= 20
 
 
 
Наталия Валерьевна Оленева: жара0leneva on February 21st, 2011 08:51 pm (UTC)
Гы.
GB: hate bunnykutya on February 21st, 2011 09:47 pm (UTC)
а туда им и дорога, вообще-то...
yegork on February 21st, 2011 10:13 pm (UTC)
А вы действительно считаете, что у вас это закончится иначе?!
GB: hate bunnykutya on February 22nd, 2011 03:26 pm (UTC)
"у вас" это "у нас", что ли?
Antipodeantipode on February 21st, 2011 10:06 pm (UTC)
Спасибо за текст! Отфорвардил его благодарной аудитории здешних британских коллег-экспатов.
noa_anutanoa_anuta on February 22nd, 2011 12:19 am (UTC)
Если не ошибаюсь, ко мне в ящик это попало года два назад :)
Мишаkochenkov on February 22nd, 2011 03:11 am (UTC)
Вот и смешно и не смешно. Сразу оба-два.
wombatikwombatik on February 22nd, 2011 03:41 am (UTC)
Главное - нет инфляции.
sTHINKssthinks on February 22nd, 2011 09:23 am (UTC)
wombatik, куда Вы пропали? Вернитесь!
{а}дон Хахамxaxam on February 22nd, 2011 06:10 am (UTC)
В последнем варианте отсутствует задание (приведён вопрос и сразу ответ). Видимо, полный вариант был (для удобства сразу по-русски):
"Ваше задание: запомните эту цифру на всю жизнь, - 20%. Аллах не велит брать меньше".
М.С.Паниковский, человек без паспортаpanikowsky on February 22nd, 2011 09:03 am (UTC)
!
sTHINKssthinks on February 22nd, 2011 09:23 am (UTC)
Пп.1-5 давние. Развлекала ими публику таки лет 5-6 назад.
Продолжение достойное.
trolling stones: мрачный викингpapamishka on February 22nd, 2011 11:52 am (UTC)
Умеете вы шуткануть так, что хоть в петлю...